How does a narcissist get you into their web?

From the very first day the narcissist meets you – during the love-bombing phase – what they’re trying to do is replace your thoughts with their negative and toxic programming. They spend an inordinate amount of time and energy love bombing you. This could be in the form of dinners and gifts and really, let’s face it, their time and energy. All those late-night phone calls, the texting, and the damage control…

Unbeknownst to you, even while they’re love bombing you, most narcissists have someone else that they’re stringing along or perhaps even grooming alongside you. This takes a lot of energy. At any rate, during the love-bombing phase, the narcissist makes you feel like you have never felt before in your life. By all accounts, this is often when people feel self-actualized for the first time in their lives.

During love bombing, you feel the most self-actualized. All your unique traits, your dreams, your interests, your spirituality…the narcissist makes you feel like they are the same as you and that you are very unique and special for those things. Make no doubt about it, you are special. But then after the love-bombing phase, the narcissist tries to do every single thing in their power to make you feel ashamed of who you are.

They want you to feel embarrassed about your dreams and your hopes and your spirituality, so they start trying to tear you down, fiber by fiber and thought by thought, so that you will end up not liking yourself.

That’s the basic and ultimate goal of every single narcissist. This is why, most of them anyway, will try to isolate you from your friends and family. They don’t want other people telling you to leave them because they’re not good for you. For the narcissist, it’s all about control. So if the narcissist can change your thoughts, they will have ultimate control over you. And this is exactly what happens in most cases.

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