Narcissists and mental gymnastics

Being a narcissist is harder than it may seem. Most people understand that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes, and this knowledge can be comforting whenever we make an error. However, a narcissist can’t accept that they’ve made a mistake or that something is their fault since that would be admitting that they aren’t perfect.

To avoid this, narcissists will go through spectacular mental gymnastics to blame someone else for any situation. 

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How Narcissists Use Confusion to Convince Other People

Victims of narcissistic abuse are subjected to mental conditioning that can make them feel like they’re losing their grip on reality. Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissistic abusers to confuse their partners or other people in their inner circle. Gaslighting occurs when someone tries to confuse another party about a situation by insisting the other person is mistaken about the facts. This trick can be used for something simple, such as who was the last person to use an object that’s now missing. It can also be used to confuse a partner about major financial or relationship issues. Narcissistic members of a relationship may use gaslighting to convince their partner that there was less money in the bank account than they thought, or that clear signs of an affair aren’t what they seem. Convincing someone to ignore the truth isn’t easy, they know that as long as they’re consistent with their answers that their target will begin to believe it, too, even if their information is c...

A Narcissist controls you by attacking your self worth

The narcissist's controlling, crazy-making behaviors have left you feeling afraid, depressed, and alone. Loss of identity is unavoidable after being in an emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship. The narcissist has several resources in their toolbox for achieving this goal: Trauma Bonding: Rollercoasters of chronic fighting (you’re always the bad guy, of course) and fleeting moments of artificial compassion to solidify a bond based on trauma. Other than responsibilities like children and bills, these brief moments of seeming love are what keep you from leaving. Cognitive Empathy: Objectively empathizing with you for the sole purpose of manipulating your thoughts. This empathy without compassion is a prerequisite for torture. Imposing Guilt and Worthlessness: When you attempt to state an opinion – even on benign things like clothing – you’re wrong. And even if you’re not wrong, the mere act of having an opinion wil...

A Narcissist is basically living in their terrible two's

Narcissists can resemble toddlers, in that they tend to be extremely sore losers. They struggle to accept losing, and they also tend to lash out when it happens. A few scenarios may occur: They repeatedly proclaim the person in charge (boss/referee) was incompetent They attempt to defame or humiliate the winner They pretend they didn’t care about winning They insist that they “let the other person” take the spotlight They refuse to accept that they lost and awkwardly act as if they’re the actual winner (you may have experienced this by hearing, after you’ve left them, that they’ve told everyone they’re the one who left you! )

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